Beer Review #1

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BUD LIGHT
Price: $5.99 for a six pack
The website says: "A blend of two and six row malt and cereal grains give Bud Light its clean, crisp, smooth taste."
Tastes like: Cat piss and broken dreams.
Drink it when: You leave your parents' basement and move into a frat house.

Gossip.

Something I miss doing with you! Ah well. (And that is all I'm going to say about that).

In other news I am off for a hott date with Mr Shaguar this evening. We are going to drink a bottle of wine and eat delicious Thai food and it will be AWESOME. Then Thursday, Friday I am out for dinner with various types and on Saturday am chilling with S's father and S's father's wife and S's father's wife's son and S's father's wife's son's fiance who is nice enough but has a kind of irritating nervous giggle. You'd get your patented Face on during any conversation with this girl let me assure you.

Otherwise nothing going. I hope the lack of derby doesn't make me hellishly boring... I can feel my super human derby powers leaching out of every pore.

I Am a Fail Whale

Dear Sarah Jane,

Today was dumb. I booked a patron some tickets for the wrong night, had to placate a company manager, phone ran out of credit, folded hundreds of programmes for our community day, and realised my favourite dress is getting too tight (damn you, tatertots! I shake my fists at your tiny, buttery, potato-filled mmmmmmmmm.. No! No!).
I'm in a filthy mood so I thought I would write a list of irritating things. Some general, some specific; ALL irritating. Enjoy.

1). People Who Think I'm British
Having to explain several times a day to cute old Jewish ladies from Long Island that I'm not from London is starting to wear thin. "I know you're speakin' the Queen's English bud I jus' don' unnerstan' you."


2). The Way Gala Darling Stands in All Her Photos
Listen Gala, I quite like your blog. I like how you're sort of like a skinny pakeha Oprah, with your advice about embracing your flaws and baking cupcakes and shit. But please stop standing with your legs all turned in like a manga character with polio. It's irritating. Sorry.


3). Massachusetts Mosquitoes the Size of Sparrows
I have a theory starting to emerge about this. Maybe there's a whole underground blackmarket in steroids out here in the rich-kids land of the Berkshires. Perfect abs and pecs to go with their perfect holiday homes and vast amounts of perfect leisuretime. The mosquitoes feed on a hot summers night and BAM! It's like a 1950s horror movie, like the Incredible Shrinking Man in reverse.


4). Fucking. Twilight. Saga.
The Oatmeal sums it up nicely.


5). Sleeping alone.
This is the dumbest thing of all, worse than Gala's polio legs. I miss that boy back home. Can you put him in a Fed-Ex parcel and ship him over here?


xxxxx
Rebecca

The Physio

Hello Bex my lovely

My knee has been getting much better, and then yesterday I was clipped at training during sprints and fell on it. SAD. I went to the Physio and he is a very nice boy, albeit a bit giggly. However, he caused me pain by massaging my spasmed quad and then flexing the joints repeatedly. Also, he talks too much about himself and I just want to sit in silence while the pain washes over me, you know? Dentists are like this too. My dentist likes to scrape away at my teeth while raving about her son and his future career as a doctor and his first girlfriend.

Also lately, I have been spending all my money on stockings. I love stockings and since you have fabulous taste, I know you do too. But really, I am stumped as to how I should be dressing at present. I feel grossly uninspired by my wardrobe and looking at clothes in the shops fills me with dread. I used to be able to get dressed without it being a ridiculous mission and feeling like a frump in all my clothes, but apparently no more. So frustration! I suspect this is all linked to my nuttiness last week.

Never mind. Finishing the epic cardigan tonight (pictures to come).

xxx Me

Bicycle Derby Kittens Rant

Darling:

I know that I promised a video of spinning, but I’m afraid this weekend was completely eaten up with derby (the madness is beginning again). Not only was I training, but also I was watching a big tournament on the internet. My knee is healing really quickly which is good, and I’m skating again - although not scrimmaging just yet. I had fun with my new team too. Have I mentioned lately that I do love skating, despite all my whingeing about the additional work? Because I do. Sometimes it’s hard to remember when I'm rushing around like a mad woman.

And now - a quick complaint - apparently I am exceptionally tired, insecure and short tempered at present.  My irritation with the people around me is super high, and it’s tedious and tiresome to be talking to people and want to kick them in the shins simultaneously. It’s bound to be just a matter of getting some sleep and keeping busy and eating well; I can feel myself being thrown off-kilter and I know that the re-kiltering will make the irritation dissolve away. I must look after myself! And thus, I think that this lunch time I shall go for a bike ride along the waterfront and maybe read a book for a bit. It’s cold, but I quite like the idea of reading wrapped and warm in my own space.

Forgive my rant. Much love to you Bex xx

Also: here are some kittens. These kittens make me way happy for realz.

Marilyn

Hello Bex darling

Today is my last day at work! So excited... there is huge amount of cake waiting for me in the kitchen. At the moment I am killing time until half past ten when I can EAT THE CAKE.

I love cake.

I saw this picture of Marilyn this morning and I am super in love with it. If only I didn't look washed out, bizarre and wrong with platinum blonde hair! If only orange toned lipstick didn't make me look beyond terrible! If only. Oh, if only.

love love, a disgruntled Me.